The Grimm Agency

For all your Happily Ever After Needs

Apply to work at the Agency!

The Agency is always looking for high quality employees with little connection to reality and a low probability of suing the Agency when a mishap occurs.

Employment Questionaire

  1. Name seven types of firearms you are personally familiar with:
  2.  List three types of mythical creatures who have attacked you in the last week, and how you dealt with them. Be specific.

  3.  Are you a licensed lawyer, beautician, or assassin?
    Yes   No.

  4.  Can you shift shapes into an animal?
  5. Yes   No.

    1. If you answered yes to the above, what animal?

    2. Is your answer to 4.1 an animal you have ever actually changed into?
    3. Yes   No.

    4. If you answered yes to 4.2, Is it possible your answer is at least partially based on fantasy?
    5. Yes  

  6. Are you related to royalty?
  7. Yes   No.
    1. If you answered yes to 5, do you feel bad about this?
    2. Yes  
  8. Do you behave as if you are related to royalty?
  9. Yes   No.

  10. Name two world leaders you have assaulted and why.
  11. Are you capable of performing magic?
      Yes   No.

    1. If you answered yes to 8, are you capable of magic without first watching a youtube video explaining how to perform the trick?
    2. Yes   No.

    3. Is it really magic?
    4. Yes   No.

    5. Does it involve a smartphone?
    6. Yes   No.

    7. Or picking a card?
    8. Yes   No.

  12. Which social networks have you survived?
  13. Select the appropriate method of address for Royalty:
      "Your Highness"
      "Your Majesty"
      "You. The fat one with the crown. Yes, You."
  14. Name three species of Brazillian frog and the effect consuming each would have on psoriasis.
  15. Have you ever eaten human flesh?
      Yes   No.
    1. If you answered no, really, have you?
    2. Yes   No.
    3. How many times a year?
  16. Fill in the blank: Gnomes are best for
  17. Do you speak Spanish, English, French, L33t, or any form of Latin, pig or otherwise?
  18. Yes   No.
  19. Solve Godel's Theorem.  Show your work.
  20. Porridge should be served:
      Too hot.   Too cold. With enough vodka that temperature is irrelevant.
  21. Do you have any identifying scars, tattooes, or other methods by which your corpse, if found mutilated beyond recognition, could be identified?
      Yes   No.
    1. If you answered yes to 17, please list.
    2. If you answered no to 17, please explain why not.
  22. When interviewing a potential client, the most important factors are:
    How badly they need help.
    How awesome saving them would look.
    Their credit score.